Martie de Castro Breaks the Bias Against Bisexual Women

Martie de Castro Breaks the Bias Against Bisexual Women

Martie de Castro sits down with and shares about having enriching relationships regardless of sexual preferences.

Martie de Castro is proud to say she lives a colorful life.

Being comfortable in her own skin at a young age, this dynamic digital marketer is unapologetic about being herself and broadcasting her thoughts and opinions to the world—all while trying to do good by it, keeping her faith, and finding a higher purpose. talks to Martie and gets to know her better. What is your experience like as a bisexual woman?

MARTIE: That’s actually a very interesting question because my experience as a bisexual woman has been very rich.

It has somehow been very vague in the sense that I never really tried to have deep thoughts about it. It wasn’t every single day being like “Oh my God, Martie, you’re a bisexual woman.” It was more like rediscovering myself over the years—while I’ve only ever been in a relationship with a girl once and I’m still with her right now, it wasn’t the first time that I was attracted to women.

I really have this tendency to appreciate a person whether it’s a girl or a boy. I always have in mind that people really have these distinct things about them that make them likable, like, “Are they smart? Are they good at math? Do they dance well? Can they speak really well?” So that was always how it always was to me. Have you ever felt uncomfortable in your sexuality?

MARTIE: Absolutely not. I think the only thing that really made me uncomfortable is the idea that what would other people think about me or probably how other people that know my partner think about my partner and me?

It wasn’t always about what I thought about myself because I believe that growing up, especially for the people who really know me deepest to my core, it was pretty obvious how comfortable I was in my skin. It didn’t matter if I had to like announce to the world, like, “Hey guys, do you know I’m bisexual?” It wasn’t really necessary cause I was really very comfortable with what I do, making jokes, doing things I wasn’t good at, and trying to make an impact in any space that I was in. So it wasn’t really a problem for me.

gspot: Has your sexuality affected your dating life?

MARTIE: It has, just because it made it really pretty more exciting. I know it’s a notion that “Oh you know bisexual people, it’s probably just a phase,” or in a sense that they can’t just choose which gender to date.

But honestly, I feel like it’s been really exciting because having the ability to appreciate people and looking at them outside of their gender is making me more sensitive in a way that, I could go into a point to look to really look deep within that person.

So obviously as a bisexual woman I’ve been with guys before and I’ve also been with girls before, there are a lot of things that you can really about how different it is to date men and women or what kind of problems can arise in a relationship when you’re with a man versus when you’re with a woman.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that it’s been an exciting journey and it’s making my life colorful What do you want people to know about being a bisexual? 

MARTIE: First it’s not a phase. Second is, we pray.

I know it’s a very sensitive topic, but there’s always this notion about people and how they think about other people being lesbian or bisexual or whatever it is in the LGBT spectrum.

They always have this thing in their heads that these people are lost or these people are probably not faithful, they haven’t been brought up well by their parents—no, that’s not it. We are far beyond more than the gender we represent.

Even if we like men, or even if we like women, it doesn’t matter because at the end of the day all it really boils down to our hearts, what we give out to the community, and of course at the end of the day our faith in God and how we resonate that faith in everything we do.

Can you just imagine if I was not a bisexual woman but I am bad to the people around me? Then what good am I to the world? I’d rather be a bisexual woman and know how to treat people with kindness, know generosity, and know how to treat people with sensitivity. I think that’s one of the biggest biases I want to break to the world. Again, it’s not a phase, we also have kind hearts that we can appreciate everyone in our surroundings, and we do just as much good as possible as long as we are given the opportunity. What is your message of encouragement to women and women allies?

MARTIE: Whether you’re in the closet or not what I can say is take your time putting it out in the open. The sexuality that you find yourself into is not a race and you’re not responsible to explain yourself to other people, you’re not responsible to explain yourself to your family, nor is it your responsibility to explain yourself to your friend who does not accept you to the community.

I know this is a funny line, but it’s always on my mind: “You’re going to burn in hell.” It’s not your responsibility to defend that. Just because I’m like this, I’m not going to burn in hell. Make them think what they want to think because at the end of the day, it all boils down to what makes you happy and in what skin you are comfortable end and are you kind to the world. I believe the world is all about kindness, so keep your head up.

Take things one step at a time. Don’t be so quick in putting out your sexuality and be open if you’re still uncomfortable. Make sure you’re comfortable first in your own skin as your own person. When you find yourself comfortable in that place, I’m pretty confident that once you announce yourself to the world, no matter what the limits or no matter what judgment you get, that’s not even gonna mean a thing because you yourself are already strong.

Always build your own character, always build up your kindness and lastly make sure you have something to bring to the table. That’s always impact and value.