“There is no force more powerful than the love of a parent who knows he/she will have to do the daunting task of raising a child alone.”
Such strong words from an equally SIW (strong, independent woman). Hera Barrameda was dealt with a tough card in life — raising a child alone. But what life didn’t know was that this entrepreneur and self-made woman is tougher than whatever bad card life has to offer. And she even goes through life’s peaks and valleys with a happy disposition and a positive mindset – all while looking exceptionally beautiful to boot.
Take a peek at Hera’s full life as she balances parenting and homeschooling her 12-year-old dreamer, building Layla, a full solution social commerce marketplace and training platform for women, and being her own woman with her own individual dreams and aspirations.
Can you describe your relationship with your daughter, Mika?
My daughter and I are the best of friends. We’ve practically been there for each other since the start, and all I am is because of her. She allowed me to pursue my dreams and grow as much as I can without her realizing it.
At one point I lived in Manila and we were limited to Messenger calls and overflowing emojis, but our love remained the same. She knew I needed to do what I do to give her a comfortable life, but more mind blowing than that is she knew I needed to do what I do to grow as an individual.
When I was contemplating whether to move to Singapore to join a startup incubator, I felt conflicted because that would mean leaving her again, but she asked me, “Isn’t that what you really wanna do? You’re gonna be like Steve Jobs, right? Go ahead, Mom, just come home every 2 weeks.” And I did.
Many times I don’t know what I did to deserve a daughter like her. Many times she tells me how she’s happy to have a crazy (read: buang) mom like me, and here I am chuckling that behind the crazy is a mother who spent years reading psychology, philosophy, and spirituality books to learn how it is to be a truly crazy mom. Haha!
My fascination for inner work led her to convert me to a BTS ARMY too. I went from hating KPOP to accidentally getting into BTS a few months ago when she asked me to include Jungian Psychology in our homeschool curriculum because of BTS’ Map of the Soul album series. Since then I’ve never turned my back, and I’m happy to give my daughter (and myself) permission to fangirl over a group of young boys who preach about loving oneself.
What are your dreams for your daughter?
Having seen her grow for 12 years, I’ve witnessed her dreams evolve faster than the year changes, and it’s a nice account of how she’s changed over the years. My dream for her is that she grows into the person she was born to be, happy in her skin, pursuing all the things that make her heart come alive, and being the best in the work she chooses to devote herself to. These days she often says she wants to be like me, and I want to guide her to see what about me inspired her and find out how she can bring that to her journey, regardless of the path she chooses to take.
Are you open to having a relationship now or are you satisfied with your single life?
These days people have been asking me this way too often than necessary. I’ve never been in a relationship since my then marriage ended, but to answer your question, yes and yes!
I am very satisfied with my single life. I have spent the past 11 years learning as much about myself and growing into the mother, daughter, entrepreneur God has designed me to be. As far as being in a relationship is concerned, it’s never been a question of if but when. It’s only a matter of time for me to be in the relationship that’s right for the moment.
As an entrepreneur and single mom, you must have a lot on your plate. How do you balance all of it? Do you still make time for yourself?
Building a company, parenting, and homeschooling in the middle of a pandemic is a tough challenge, but I found that there is beauty in elegantly weaving the pieces together. Homeschool was not too daunting when we decided to go for an open curriculum and design Mika’s experience based on what she likes to learn. She also started a growing interest in entrepreneurship, which makes hanging out with me both a mom-daughter bonding and a homeschool immersion. The lockdown forced us into our houses all of a sudden, so our home also became my office and Mika’s classroom. The lack of commute and external stress also gave us more time to focus on things that matter. Choosing to see it this way gave us much to be grateful for.
Can you tell us about Layla and how it can help single moms, breadwinners, and heads of families?
I’ve been passionate about scaling happiness all my life and realized that in a country like the Philippines, the first step to happiness is sustenance – being able to put food on the table. This led me to build Layla. Layla is direct selling and dropshipping digitized. We’re transforming social selling and taking it out of Tupperware parties and putting it in the hands of anybody that wants to be able to build their own businesses on referral. We’re rolling out our pilot to women and heads of the families who lost their jobs because of the pandemic by giving them access to Layla Reseller Boxes, the Layla Diskarte Masterclass, and early access to the app. We’ll be announcing more details soon!
What’s your message to all the single parents out there?
There is no force more powerful than the love of a parent who knows he/she will have to do the daunting task of raising a child alone. You will be surprised with what you can achieve when you focus on building a good life for yourself and your daughter. My failed marriage was a gift and my daughter was a constant reminder from God to make the most of the life I was given. And when I look back, I realized God sent me exactly what I needed to get to where I am today: a wound so his light can enter, major difficulties to keep me humble, a daughter to keep me on my toes (as my friend says, “no to hunger” lol), and some wild breakthroughs here and there to remind me I can do great things every once in a while!
Be grateful for the times you are scared for your life. When coupled with faith that God is on your side, He will open doors where there was once none. There is always a door or a window somewhere, and outside is a lifetime of surprises waiting to make life better.
Watch out and be grateful for the little things as they come, then prepare your hands to receive bigger things. The universe rewards the grateful.
Photography: Rae Cabradilla-Padin