Women being open about their sexuality is often frowned on—and that’s only putting it mildly. While men can brag about their proclivities and be treated like rock stars, this doesn’t always apply to the opposite sex. Instead, women get judged, slut-shamed, and even victim-blamed for it.
Trisha Apa-ap is breaking the bias against this double standard. From wearing revealing clothing to admitting that she has an OnlyFans account, she champions the mindset that being open about sex is nothing to be ashamed of and challenges her audience to own up to their sexuality and femininity.
Read more about Trisha’s thoughts in this tell-all with g.spot.
g.spot: What has your experience been like as a woman who is sex-positive?
TRISHA: My journey and experience as a sex-positive woman have not been the easiest. If I may say, it’s a rough road because not a lot of Filipinos are proud of being sexual or being how they are as a person and owning up to their femininity. With that, it gives you some stink eye around and gets you judged along the way but at the end of the day, you do you.
g.spot: How did you find comfort or confidence in your sexuality?
TRISHA: I guess finding comfort in my sexuality goes to say with the people you surround yourself with. If your surrounding yourself with people who are always judging you and will always just ridicule you for owning up to yourself or owning up to being a woman or your sexuality, then it will not be easy. You will question yourself. You will doubt yourself.
But, you know, having people that make you feel comfortable about yourself creates an easier way or an uplifting vibe to your day-to-day life, and that’s what made my journey easy.
g.spot: What made you decide to be open about your sexuality as a woman?
TRISHA: I think even until now, being open about being a woman is subjective because some of us may be open and be all out wearing the clothes we want to wear and saying the things we want to say.
But some women are also very open to their sexuality while wearing the same clothes they wear every day. I just choose to be more open about it so that people around me or young girls around me know, as a woman, that they shouldn’t be stopped from doing these things.
Being out there isn’t something to be ashamed of. Being able to be proud of one’s sexuality and what you want to do with your body and to who you can give consent—or not consent—to your body is not something to be ashamed of.
Even if you’re still wearing the same clothes, even if you’re not comfortable wearing lingerie, you can be proud of saying that “I have sex and I enjoy sex,” “I masturbate and I enjoy masturbation.”
I can say that as a woman without thinking that guys with ever look at me in a certain way because I look at myself in a way that I’m proud of, and no one could tell me otherwise so yeah
g.spot: What would you like to say to women who still look down upon sex-positive women like you?
TRISHA: We all want to be progressive and want to change something about the world. It is our view of each other, and that is if someone else is proud to wear a bikini or lingerie out there in public posting pictures about herself in public and being proud of themselves for doing that, we shouldn’t judge them the same way we are not judging people for not doing those things.
I guess there will always be a stigma if we ourselves as women will not help one another get rid of that stigma.
g.spot: What is your message of encouragement to women and women allies?
TRISHA: You should never be afraid to speak up about your sexuality. You should never be afraid to ask for it—I mean, in your own way, to ask for the consent that we all want.
If people are going to block us from doing whatever we want because we are letting them then that shouldn’t be the case anymore. I guess we can all grow up from that and just be progressive women who help one another and not judge each other and empower one another because this is what’s all about.