It Took Time, But I’m Ready to Love Again

It Took Time, But I’m Ready to Love Again

When the worst part of heartbreak is over, healing is a blessing. Deneb Batucan writes about finally moving forward after a breakup.

While creating a mind map of what I’ll write for this article, it made me realize my mind has a knack for remembering only the happy moments of my past—but it’s my heart that tinges when I remember the mistakes that led me to some of the darkest times in my life.

Heartbreaks are never easy, and that’s an understatement. They say you can only get truly hurt when you love just as much. I think in my case, the reason why my heartbreaks hurt so much is I think I left a part of myself in the people I once loved.

But before I continue my mini epiphanies, I need to state some facts. Over the course of my teenage and adult life, I’ve had a handful of relationships. But there are only two people who I could say have seen every side of me and who I’ve given a piece of myself. Here, I write about how I coped with breaking up with them.

There are some similarities between these two break-ups:

First, they both realized they were better off with other people.

Second, I was the one who made them realize the first point.

Third, I’m basically the airport where they had to stop over for a few hours before eventually getting on the right flight and towards the right person.

It was tough trying to accept these things. I questioned myself as I downed my nth bottle of beer during my maoy times—where was my own flight toward that right person who would choose me for a change?

But of course, the earth continued to move on its axis and time flew by. I saw them have wonderful relationships with the people they chose over me, and I went on living my life and focused on other things apart from my love life. Yes, I’m still single. Yes, the romantic in me still longs for that “right” person to come into my life. (Just DM me if interested. I like people who are straightforward. Lol.)

So how did I cope with these heartbreaks? In a nutshell—lots of tears, comfort from friends and strangers, lots of alcohol, and most importantly, lots of deep introspection.

It took some time (years, even) but I’ve accepted the reality that I gave a piece of myself to the wrong people. And that’s okay. Now I can call them my lessons.

So if you ever find yourself in the midst of heartbreak, be proud of yourself. That just means that you’re capable of loving someone so much that it breaks you. And the best part is, it is possible to fix yourself and love again. It’s honestly the most natural and the most beautiful cycle we do as humans: we love until it hurts, and love until it no longer hurts.

A lot of my friends ask me: “Unya mo-usab pa ka?” Of course. And I know the next person I’ll give myself to is gonna be lucky because I’m a better human now. It’s just a matter of when that time comes. But by all means, I’m ready. (Cue in Dua Lipa’s Love Again 😂💜)