They say pregnancy and childbirth will change everything.
You won’t be able to do the things you’ve always wanted to do and try before experiencing both, because, for one, your time, money, and body are now devoted to these two things.
I thought a lot about it too for a while as I am going through my first pregnancy at the moment, and it wasn’t easy coping with thoughts like that while also knowing you’re about to bring a little human being to life. It’s almost as if you’re not allowed to feel an ounce of guilt because your child might know about it and might feel they’re unwelcomed.
Thoughts like these may just be one of the many things that a woman goes through when pregnant. There is the agony of a difficult pregnancy for most women.
Thankfully, mine so far is a little more manageable and tolerable but it doesn’t mean I don’t get weighed down with it. There are days when I feel unworthy of being pregnant because I don’t think I am taking enough care of myself and simply because of having to deal with gestational diabetes, which sucks by the way.
While I haven’t gone through childbirth just yet, the thought of it makes me shiver. From time to time as I go on my day, it just takes up some headspace in me filled with what ifs. From what if there are difficulties or complications to what if I am not good at mothering – you’ll just want to take a snap out of it immediately before they all play tricks on you.
On a lighter note though, I feel grateful on most days for having a strong support system around me—my family, in-laws, friends, colleagues, and most importantly my partner. I take comfort in knowing that they’re just there for me and my precious little one.
Filling my head with informative positive thoughts has been helping me too and here are a few things I’ve learned along the way which I thought might help my fellow first-time millennial moms out there too.
Enlist your friends’ help
As most millennial parents don’t live with their parents anymore, enlisting the help of your friends is very helpful for you and your partner.
On top of pregnancy and childbirth, you’re going to deal with having the baby attached to you most of the time, of course. Your friends are excited to see and hold the little one and they may want to bring you food or cook for you as you won’t be as available to do it by yourself most of the time.
Welcome your and your child’s mistakes
Unlike generations before us, millennials understand the importance of raising a positive child. That’s why we embrace and treat mistakes as learning opportunities which we bounce back from. We communicate better to make kids understand things better as well.
Learn to differentiate good advice from the bad
Sure, our moms and grandmothers have a lot to say about mothering and parenting, and sometimes it is not easy to sort out what’s really helpful or not on top of having to deal with them when you tend to disagree with them. But always keep in mind to do your own research like we always do and most importantly to politely disagree.
Embrace changes in concepts of gender
We face major changes when it comes to the concepts of gender, like gender roles in the household, gender distinction on baby stuff and toys, and even on the baby’s gender in itself.
And it’s totally fine to snap out of traditions. If your friends try to offer to host a gender reveal for you, you can politely correct them that it’s actually called a “sex reveal” or politely decline from having one if you don’t want to do it and be thankful at the same time.
It’s up to you or more like up to your child, after all, to reveal their gender or not at which point of their lives. It’s also okay to opt for gender-neutral baby stuff and toys.
Most importantly, agree with your partner about not assigning roles based on sex because it’s not going to be helpful for any of you especially now that you both are taking care of another human being, with all the stuff to do at home.