Vida found out she was pregnant with her second child just before the lockdown was announced in the country in March 2020. All the exciting baby-related plans like maternity shoots and gender-reveal parties were thrown out of the window. She admits that giving birth to her first son, Job, in 2003 vs. her second son, Daniel, in 2020 is very different. 

g.spot chatted with Doc Vida about her experience being a mom in the pandemic and the joys and challenges she has encountered.

How was your pregnancy different during the pandemic?

One of the biggest differences was not being able to have regular prenatal check-ups starting around 10 weeks until later in my pregnancy. Most doctors had suspended clinic operations and I ended up buying my own Doppler fetal monitor, so I could check on my baby’s heartbeat myself. Having that huge gap between check-ups was nerve-racking even for a physician like me. Suddenly the frills like baby showers didn’t seem as important. We just wanted the baby to be okay. When I was nearing term, I finally saw my OB again, but we had to do it in her home since she’s a senior citizen and was not allowed to go out.

How is motherhood different today? 

You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child? That is so true. I come from a close-knit family on both sides and we haven’t seen each other in over a year. We’ve watched each other’s kids grow up, and that’s something that we’ve missed terribly. Sure, there’s video chat, but it’s not the same. I can’t wait for things to go back to normal so my kids can enjoy the company of their cousins again. 

Another major difference was the shifting of schools to online learning. They miss their friends; they’re missing out on extracurriculars like sports, and instead are staring at a computer all day long. It’s heartbreaking how much it’s affected Job. We used to limit his screen time before the pandemic. But now, since gaming and online chats are the only way he can spend quality time with his friends, we’ve just let him go on as much as he wants as long as he gets his schoolwork done. It was a necessary compromise. Keeping lines of communication open between ourselves and our kids has become even more crucial these days.

What is a typical quarantine day like for you as a mom?

On weekdays, I get up as early as 5:45 am, tiptoe to the kitchen to have some quiet time, a light breakfast, and my much-needed cup of coffee before getting ready for work. I breastfeed Daniel one last time just before I leave and then head to the office. With the shortened work hours, I learned to be more efficient and get all my work done in less time while also making sure to pump enough milk for the next workday.  It’s a good thing my company has provided us with a lactation room, so we can continue to breastfeed our babies. Because I work in healthcare, I have to be extra careful. When I get home, I don’t go near my family until I’ve fully showered. The rest of the day is spent looking after Daniel and waiting for his nap time, so I can get something else done like manage my small online business Bloom Body Shop selling reusable products like menstrual cups and cloth diapers.

What are the challenges of being a mother in the pandemic plus this quarantine?

The isolation from loved ones and worrying about the kids’ safety are definitely the hardest parts. You worry about how this is affecting your kids, how long this is going to last… Will we come out of this unscathed? Having a partner who is just as hands-on as a parent makes it easier though.

With two kids, is the pandemic making it harder to handle more responsibilities?

It’s harder for sure. Although we had gotten used to not having house help over the years, having a new baby sort of threw our routine off. I’ve cut back on my work hours pretty drastically since my maternity leave ended so I can be a hands-on mom.

What do you do for self-care?

When you have a new baby, self-care tends to take a backseat. I mean, even getting a good night’s sleep is impossible. But I felt I needed to carve out even just a little bit of me-time once in a while. I try to write articles or shoot videos for my personal blog, All Scrubbed Out, where I write or talk about anything really from my thoughts on life and motherhood to food, makeup, and zero-waste living. I’ve also started working out more regularly again. Just half an hour of exercise a day really makes a difference in improving my mood and increasing my energy levels.

My family was able to enjoy and witness all my pregnancy milestones with me. Now, I can also see the bond forming between my kids even though they have such a huge age gap because we’re together so much of the time

What are your tips to women who are currently pregnant or have recently given birth during the pandemic?

Find your support system. There will be moments especially in the first few weeks where you might have trouble breastfeeding, or you might be freaking out about whether you’re cut out for motherhood or not. Sometimes you even worry about little things like if the baby’s poop looks weird. Find well-informed people to make up the circle whom you can turn to when these moments arise for assurance, encouragement, and proper advice without judgment.

What has the pandemic taught you about motherhood?

Don’t sweat the small stuff, and trust that God is in control even when things seem bleak.

Photography: Rae Cabradilla-Padin