Who is there to define what motherhood truly is? A mother is no longer boxed in the conventional characterization of ancient times. She can be a birth mother, an angel, mentor, friend, protector, and a lioness. Within her lies great power and capacity for tenderness.
Lollette Oliva Alipe, or “Tita Lollette” as she is lovingly called by many, is a modern mother. Hers is a beautiful tale of how the heart is capable of expanding to make room for more love. She is a mother of multitudes. It’s such an intricate narrative that won’t fail to get you teary.
Her motherhood story
Tita Lollette has four biological and five adoptive children. She would say her kids come in “batches.” She gave birth to two kids, Gabby and Monchi, before she separated from her husband Em. When they reconciled and renewed with a stronger vow, she birthed Josh and Sarah.
In 2007, they opened their home and hearts to four children whose father died in Italy. These kids were the D’avola siblings Maurice, Nana, Savina, and Luigi. Before this happened, Tita Lollette received a prophetic message from her ladies’ retreat from Isaiah 54 that said, “enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back.” This gave them the affirmation that they should take care of these children.
Later in 2009, the Alipes found a newborn baby inside a plastic bag left for dead in the bushes across their house. They brought her to the hospital and eventually made her their own. Maki, the foundling, is the exclamation point to their huge family.
“She is our proof that God will provide for all our needs,” Tita Lollette noted.
Mothering her multitudes of children
Raising children is a chore on its own; what more if you get more that aren’t your own?
“Even when raising your own kids, definitely there are challenges – all the more so when you have children who were raised differently,” she said.
In the beginning, the kids had to learn how to share. This meant they had to share rooms, cabinet space, food, and even attention from the parents. They also had to give reassurance to the new kids that they were loved and will be cared for permanently.
Tita Lollette noted that sharing and caring were two areas where adjustments have to be made. However, her children also loved their new siblings genuinely so there were no resentments despite the situation.
Discipline was the same for all of them. They all had one set of rules and everyone knew them well. As parents, they made sure that all the kids understood that these rules were set to keep them safe and not to harm them. Nurturing the relationship with each child was also important.
She never imagined having a huge family. At first, she thought she could never love another child with the same intensity after having Gabby. Plus, a huge family can definitely put a strain on one’s finances. It can also be emotionally stressful. However, having a mother’s heart has allowed her to stretch her heart and love each child unconditionally despite their different personalities.
“Being a mother is my greatest career, and now being Mamita to four adorable kids is even more fulfilling,” she gushed.
Telling her story of love in marriage and parenting
Tita Lollette, also a storyteller, has written a book on her marriage. In Play Nice and Fight Fair (OMF Lit), she shares her life story – being married for seven years, separated for five, and getting remarried again to the same man.
The main takeaway of her book is that both husband and wife must intentionally work on their marriage for the relationship to succeed. Although it is primarily about partnership and marriage, she also speaks of having a united front as parents and continuing family traditions.
She is currently in the process of writing her second book about parenting, inspired by a letter she had written to Gabby, Monchi, and Maurice when they started having kids of their own.
Photography by Rae Cabradilla-Padin